TRANSCRIPT - 156 - Master your focus in a world of distraction with Angela Lockwood

[00:00:00] Angela: We've got so many expectations, technology, blah, blah, blah. Yep. That's all real. And that is not going away. So what I say to people is, well, what are you gonna do about that? And what we can do about it is soften the noise and try to find silence in our day. 

And I get really excited about it because when people tell me they feel out of control, the easiest thing to do to take back control is to find quiet. 

And you can do that in so many different ways.    

[00:00:45] Melissa: We are living in an age where we are constantly distracted, not just by the dings and pings or devices or the overwhelming volume of digital noise that surrounds us. But also by ourselves. [00:01:00] Our minds are constantly running off on tangents, thinking about the next thing we have to do, what we're having for dinner or that present that we need to pick up for the kids' birthday party on the weekend. 

It is a challenge that we are all facing. I. And that's where today's guest, Angela Lockwood comes in. Ange is on a mission to help professionals, leaders, and teams cut through distractions, regain control of their focus, and thrive in a world full of noise. I've had the pleasure of knowing Ang for a number of years now, and her practical approach supporting people to master their attention is where they will unlock their full potential, enabling them to lead with greater clarity, confidence, and success. 

Ange is the host of the podcast, distracted a two times author, the creator of the focus formula, and a professional speaker and coach. She has held leadership roles, including the CEO of KidSafe, Northern Territory, and the National Manager of [00:02:00] Community Engagement for the NDIS. She's also been featured on Channel nine Today Extra, the Australian Financial Review, Huffington Post, mama Mia, and many, many more. 

This conversation is not about beating ourselves up for not doing more, as you'll hear in this conversation. An's compassionate nature encourages us to stop managing our distractions and instead identify our focus.   

I'm joined by the beautiful an Lockwood today. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast Ang. 

[00:02:36] Angela: Oh, you have no idea how much I love being introduced like that, particularly today. It's been one of those today, Mel, I have to admit. So thank you very much for filling up my cup in the opening three seconds. 

[00:02:49] Melissa: I couldn't explain you better because I have had the great pleasure of knowing you for a few years now, and initially I came across you and your work when you wrote, your book Switch [00:03:00] off and then. With great fortune, our paths have crossed, and since then we've actually developed a beautiful friendship, which I'm very, very grateful for. 

So thank you for that. But today we're here to talk about all of the amazing things that you do to support really busy professionals with all of the things that they have to manage in their life in order to stay focused and avoid distraction. So. We'll stay on topic today as best as we can, but one of the first things I wanted to start with is that you've actually got a really personal story as to why you have gone down this path yourself, and I'd love you to share that with everybody. 

'cause I think it gives such great context to who you are and what really motivates you to wanna support other people to be able to really thrive in this age of distraction. 

[00:03:45] Angela: Thanks, Mel. Yeah, I, I'm often asked about why distraction, why focused. I think when people meet me, they sort of meet my energy and they go, you're so high. Energy, is it that you find it really hard to focus and in part, [00:04:00] yes, I do, but it's a skill that I've had to teach myself because as you mentioned, I've got a really interesting background in this and that I was always a kid who had a very busy brain. 

I always wanted to be involved in everything and was involved in everything. But then, uh, when I was 17, I was hit in the temple with a hockey ball and. Around that time, if anyone's ever held a hockey ball, you know how hard that hockey ball is. And hitting me in the temple really, really impacted the way that I could think, the way that I could speak, the way that I could sustain my energy. 

my brain started to work differently, so. At sort of a very pivotal age of my life as 17 years, you know, just about to leave school. I really had to teach myself again how to think in a new way and how to reserve energy to do all the things that I still wanted to do. 'cause I still had all the same goals. 

I still had all the same things I wanted to do, but now I had a brain that. Fatigued really quickly. I had a brain that, you know, found it really hard to focus [00:05:00] on more than one thing at the same time, and I thought that's what I needed to do. And so it really sparked a career for me in becoming an occupational therapist and going deep in my whole career around. 

How can I better understand how our brains work, but better understand how can we do the things that really mean something to us without feeling like we're constantly pulled in so many directions. And so 25 years down the track here, I am still talking about focus, still talking about distraction. But what I love, Mel, is I've been able to do this with kids and with adults and, as we know. 

Being busy brained, being pulled in many directions, feeling like we've got a lot to focus on isn't just an adult thing. you know, I, I've got the privilege of working with children who also struggled to keep up and to understand how to think and how to learn and how to, how to thrive. So yeah, I get to sort of work in the two worlds and funnily enough, same messaging, different audience. 

[00:05:58] Melissa: Yeah.  

[00:05:59] Angela: do we [00:06:00] thrive in this age of distraction and use these brains to our best advantage? 

[00:06:03] Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, what an impactful shift in your life though, I mean, you were on your way to trying to be a professional athlete at this time, and you've had a complete shift. I mean, how did that actually feel for You personally at that time? 

[00:06:17] Angela: You know, it's really funny. I have a son now who's exactly exactly the same age as what I was when, uh, the accident happened. And I look at him and I think, you know, there's a lot of emotions that come up because I think of how. Many opportunities face him right now. How many wonderful things lay ahead of him and what his goals look like? 

And it's really bringing up a lot of things for me because I look and I think there are really pivotal moments in our lives that we think. We know the path, we think we know where things are heading, but sometimes things that pop up out of our control are actually the, the gift. And at the time it feels like your whole world is thrown into chaos, which it was. 

I had to go into rehab. you know, I [00:07:00] was getting. rehab. That's why I became an ot because I was lucky enough to meet an occupational therapist during that time. I wanted to be a journalist, funnily enough, before, before that happened. but when I met her, I remember thinking, this is a career that I really wanna be able to jump into because it looked like. 

A career that not only looked at what people were struggling with, but what are the things that we can do to really simplify their life and what are the things that we can do to help them do all the wonderful things they want to? Even with having things that weren't working as well for them. So how it felt for me at the time, Mel felt like absolute chaos. 

but I had really amazing people around me. My parents were just remarkable. They're people who never, they just think that I. We can do anything and always told us that. So the people around me really helped. but also I had that inner drive and as you mentioned, I wanted to be an athlete. I was wanting to go to a Sydney 2000 Olympics. 

Yes. That sort of timestamps me, doesn't it when I say that. [00:08:00] But I wanted to go to Sydney, 2000 Olympics and I had a real focus. but I guess life just didn't have that plan for me. So out of chaos came actually a lot of hardship, but then a lot of clarity. Down the track. And, here I am sort of committing my life to not only learning more about my brain, but how I can better support others with, a busy brain that doesn't work the way it should sometimes. 

[00:08:22] Melissa: And isn't it so incredible that you had the great fortune of meeting someone who has made such an impact on you that shaped your whole career and now you've had the opportunity? 'cause I know the work that you've done with so many kids, you've been able to then pass that gift on to supporting so many children that you've had the opportunity to work to with. 

So it'd be, it'd be so cool to see some of these children then grow up to go, I'm gonna be just like ang.  

[00:08:46] Angela: Oh gosh. You know, it's funny, Mel, I actually had this recent, uh, situation happen. Um, it was actually a real. Turning point moment for me. It was only a couple of weeks ago where I was asked to go back and speak. Well not go back, but go [00:09:00] to an, a place where I started. And, they, I was working with a whole lot of therapists, in the health service. 

It was mid North Coast Health in New South Wales and all OTs, all, you know, physio, speeches, the whole gamut. And here I was standing, speaking about how health professionals can take care of their own health and wellbeing and how. They can find greater focus when they're so, they're pulled in so many different directions, you know, they don't sit at the computer all day. 

So how do you find focus when you're not, you can't go deep work, you can't do all the very basic time management strategies that we hear about. And a lady in the front row said, sorry, Angela, excuse me. Um, I have a question. And I thought, okay, this is cool. We're already, you know, involved. And she goes, it's really bugging me, but. 

I feel like I know you and what was beautiful. It was such a gorgeous moment. Mel was, I actually treated her son when her son was young and he's now 30. And, so many times I write, timestamps me again. Oh my gosh. Even hearing myself [00:10:00] say that. Oh dear. but it's, it's interesting 'cause we do. So many things in our lives that we don't know the ripple effect of. 

And I think I'm, you know, I'm one of those people that will beat myself up. You know, I sort of go, is what I'm doing really making the impact that I hope and is the effort I'm putting in worth it? And then that moment for me was like. Another little boost, a little, you know, you're on the right path. 'cause even though it feels right sometimes, you know, I think only we're only human, we question if we really are making the impact we want. 

So that was lovely. He's doing beautifully thriving and about to get married. other than making me feel completely old, it was a really lovely moment to be standing in front of my peers with, you know, a parent saying, Hey, you know, 25 years ago you really helped my son. So yeah, it was a lovely moment. 

[00:10:45] Melissa: Oh, that's very, very cool. And you know, even though that does timestamp for you, that also demonstrates the wealth of experience that you have under your belt to be able to support people with these, you know, challenges. And I think, I know as a, you know, busy [00:11:00]professional myself and a leader in a business, there are so many things that are competing for our attention, and I know this is an area of work that you are particularly passionate about, is working with professionals, with leaders to help them really Own their own attention and to give them the support and the frameworks that they need to be able to do that. And the first question I've got for you is, you know, why is it that we find it so hard to stay focused?  

[00:11:26] Angela: Yeah, it's a great question because I think it's one of the ones we beat ourselves up about. So we often. Ask ourselves that question, why can't I focus? Like, why is this so hard? You know, why can't I get more done? And we almost become our worst critic, when we really need to just take a step back from it all because there's a lot of things that are competing for our attention. 

There are a lot of things that constantly remind us that, Hey, I'm here too and I'm here too. And it, it's not just devices. And I think a lot of time I obviously get asked to come and [00:12:00] speak about the impact of. Technology and devices on people's attention. But there's other things that I think we don't give enough attention to, and that is things like our own mindset. 

So that internal dialogue of what we tell ourselves about our abilities and about, you know, the, I even just said that about, sometimes I question, you know, have I really made an impact in my, my own life and. So that internal dialogue is another reason why it is so hard to focus, because we have so many, things that's happening within our brain that it's not just about a to-do list. 

But of course we also have those, we have expectations that people put on us on our time. You know, I hear so often doesn't matter what industry I'm speaking in, everyone, says, you know, I'm asked to do more with less. And, you know, I'm sure any listener now just was like, yes, I, I totally get that, that we can't keep doing more with less and adding things on our plate hoping that we can focus, Then there's this other part of it too, is now a lot of the things that we surround [00:13:00] ourselves with and we work with have actually been designed to steal our focus. and this is where some of the words, people get a little bit mixed up. 'cause I talk about distracted a lot. And as you know, I have a podcast called Distracted. 

And Distracted is really about being pulled away from your focus. And when you look at it that way, what a lot of people do is they, we are trying to manage, this is what I'm seeing all the time. We're trying to manage, distractions. We're trying to manage all of these things. We're trying to think of notifications and systems and processes and putting all these things in place. 

But what we're not doing is actually taking the time to ask ourselves, well, what do I want to be focusing on? So we're almost. Chasing, like even that gives me goosebumps. And I've said it a gazillion times, right? But every time I say it, if people just got that, it would fundamentally shift how they, they do their day, like how they go about their day. 

Because we keep thinking about all the things we need to be doing to stay focused, but we're [00:14:00]not really clear around what we want to be focusing on. so if anyone that resonated with anyone listening to this now, I would really love you to think. Okay, I'm gonna, if I take a step back and ask myself that question, what is it that I'm really wanting to be focusing on now? 

How different now does your to-do list Look, how different does your day look? How different? And a lot of people then come back to me, Mel, and say, well, that's easy because what I wanna focus on isn't necessarily what my boss wants me to focus on.  

[00:14:29] Melissa: Yep.  

[00:14:30] Angela: And,  

[00:14:30] Melissa: True.  

[00:14:30] Angela: And then it's like, yeah, well you want to focus on sleeping, but your 2-year-old runs in and pulls you out of bed and jumps on you at five o'clock in the morning. 

but what it is, there's a whole lot of work, I guess I do with people around that is going well, if focus is about where you're paying your attention to. So what are you paying your attention to right now? It also comes into our conversations with people. So how many times are we distracted? So pulled away from when we're having a conversation with someone, our mind goes off on a tangent. 

[00:15:00] We start thinking, you know, someone's talking to you and you're thinking either about what you're gonna say next to them. So you're not listening to what they're saying or you're thinking about. Groceries or what you gotta do on the weekend, or have you got that done so you're not actually really being focused on anything. 

And so what we're doing is we are living in like a constant state of distraction, and it's not just technology. Sure, we can blame a lot of it on that, but there's also a big part of it where we set ourselves up to fail. 

[00:15:27] Melissa: Yeah, and it really resonates with me what you just said then, in terms of being, what is it that we actually wanna be focused on that particularly resonates, because I think a lot of us do have a to-do list that is a lot of external. Expectations and other people's demands on our time, and we are not taking the time to actually look at that and go, well, okay, well what are my priorities? 

What are my objectives? a leader, I've got expectations about what I need to deliver for the business. Where are these things falling into my priorities to actually deliver on that and for me to be able to do my [00:16:00] job and for me to able to support my team. So I think that's a really important one. 

And the second thing I picked up on there from your conversation is just about presence. It's about being fully present with another person. And as you know, I've just been doing my meditation practitioner training, and a big part of that is about remaining present. And we talk about it in the context of, contact and contact is about. 

My sort of field of energy in contact with your field of energy and when it's, those two fields of energy are together, that's where this contact is, is that you hold your boundary. I hold my boundary, but we are present with one another and we are. in contact to have this conversation or this moment, or whatever it is we need to do. 

But we are fully present in that situation. And I, I totally agree. It's this idea where our brains kind of run off with us, or we've got the hamster wheel going And we're thinking about the other 50 things we've gotta do and we've gotta pick up for dinner and we don't forget to get the kids. And, you know, Bailey's gotta go to, something on the weekend. 

There's always [00:17:00] something, buzzing in our brain and it's about. Being able to quieten down that noise so that we can be fully present with ourselves as well as with the people around us. 

[00:17:11] Angela: And I love that you are doing this too, Mel, that you are on this on, because I think a lot of people are realizing the power of, of stillness and of quiet, but that is just beyond what people think, is the sitting. in a ashra somewhere and doing that, I think, you know, I wrote the book and you mentioned it at the beginning, switch off and it really amazes me. 

I wrote that back in 2017. So that was, you know, the tagline of that is how to find calm in a noisy world. And keep reminding myself that, you know, I really could republish that right now. And it would probably be as current as Thanks. Thank you for holding up the book there. 

[00:17:50] Melissa: I have a copy of Andrew's book right here, and I was flicking through it before we got on to do this, and. Nothing's changed. You've probably got some more recent research that you [00:18:00] could reference in here, but other than that, the principles are the same. We're still having the same conversations, and you and I have both talked about Yohan Hari's book Stolen Focus as well, and we have a situation that we need to be addressing, and there's so many practical tips in this book. 

So if you, I'll put a link to that in the show notes as well, because I think. this is the thing. Some of this stuff can be really simple, but it is the simple things that are actually the hardest things to do. 

And No. 

doubt you can give us lots of insights and direction on this, but how hard is it to sit there and just not have a thought in your head? 

Like that is not an easy thing to do. It sounds simple, but it's a really difficult thing to do.  

[00:18:39] Angela: And you know that better having done your meditation training. It is actually, it is a skill. you know, I used to wear it with a badge of honor when I was doing personal training back, you know, when I was younger and I remember everyone used to think it was hilarious to try to get me to do a body balance class. 

that was like yoga classes back then. And they used to go, oh, let's go try to get ang to do that, because I used to do all the boxing and the [00:19:00] really high energy, crazy stuff, right? And I look back then, and I, I used to think the fact that I didn't do those classes and I found it hard was actually, a cool thing. 

But if I knew then what I knew now. I would've realized that actually my capacity would've been so much greater that, it would've allowed me to slow down. And, you know, that was just a part of being, of being young and not knowing. 

but the whole, finding this calm space so I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with my kids' brain on a little bit here. So the work I do with kids, and you said it about, that sort of energy exchange. The kids that I work with are kids who are often very high energy. 

They might have, you know, they're often neurodiverse. and a lot of the times when I am speaking with these kids, if our energy is not aligned, they'll run off on me. they don't have the skills yet to be able to be polite like We do as adults, sometimes they just take off or they'll look at me and go, you are boring. 

And it's like, okay. So I've had to really develop a lot of skills to be able to tune [00:20:00] into, well, what does this person need right now from me? And. I wanna flip that a little bit and move it on and go. If we look at presence, without it being a bit of the woo woo stuff, because I think sometimes when I say presence, particularly to certain audiences, I lose them because they think that it's some way out there. 

Woo. We think, but it's, it's just about being where you are. And if you are, you know, swinging your child in on a swing in a playground, don't be scrolling on your phone while you're doing that. You're not present, they're probably gonna swing back and hit you the phone's, you know, like you're not doing. 

And this is where the multitasking myth comes in, because we feel like when we are doing so many different things, we are being super productive, but it actually, our brain doesn't have the capacity to do something, two things at once. What we actually do is we do something called task switching. So our brain goes from this, it switches and goes to the next switches and goes to the next. 

And the more that we do that. The tighter our brain becomes. So [00:21:00] task switching fatigues us. So if we are constantly doing more than one thing at once, we are like, we are, we're overloading our brain to a, a point where it's going, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like it. Slow down for a minute and no wonder we feel like we are literally spinning out of control. 

Like I, you know, and I see this a lot with kids, they literally will hold their heads like they will. And we do it when we come home from a stress day at work, we might put our fingers on our temples. We wanna just sort of slow everything down and that slowing down. Is actually really within our control and we, we keep going, oh my gosh, life is so busy. 

We've got so many expectations, technology, blah, blah, blah. Yep. That's all real. And that is not going away. So what I say to people is, well, what are you gonna do about that? None of that's gonna go away. Then what can you do about that? And what we can do about it is soften the noise and try to find silence in our day. 

And that silence might come as things like doing meditative practices, or it might just [00:22:00] be when you're driving home in the car. No music, or it could be drive home in the car, music, so silence doesn't mean sitting in quiet, but what I do encourage people to think about is noise comes in lots of different forms and noise. 

Yep. Is a, is definitely scrolling. if people are waking up first thing in the morning and they're saying that they feel frantic the minute they wake up or they're not having great sleep, if you are rolling over, picking up your phone and inviting the world into your life before your feet even hit the ground. 

There's like strategy one oh one, stop looking at your phone before you wake up so that quietness, that calm, we can cultivate, but you have to have it be very deliberate about it and that's where the control, it's actually, I get really excited about it because when people tell me they feel out of control, the easiest thing to do to take back control is to find quiet. 

And you can do that in so many different ways.  

[00:22:57] Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. and you, like you [00:23:00] said. What I've learned too is, you know, again, I always thought meditation would sit there, you know, cross-legged little fingers and you know, in silence, but. It's actually a, way of being. It's a state of being, and it's about slowing yourself down because that also enables you to be much clearer in, again, working out where your priorities are, so you know where your focus needs to go. 

Your decision making improves as well, because you haven't got. All of this noise in your head, you can be much more intentional and clearer about the decisions that you need to be making. So it does change all of these things, and it enables you to be more present with those around you, to have those deeper conversations in a way that actually needs to happen, particularly in the workplace. 

I think it's incredible. 

[00:23:44] Angela: I love how you sort of framed that because. this is what I'm hearing so often is the speed of our lives. You know, everything feels so fast, you know, oh my gosh, I can't believe it's April. Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's December. I can't what, we live in a very fast [00:24:00] world and even with the introduction of ai, you know, that's just made things feel even faster, And I think our biology hasn't caught up to the speed, and I think that's really important that. yeah, we're still evolving, right? It's like playing catch up. But what I'd love for people to not always, 'cause when you're playing catch up, you feel like you're never there. 

But you are absolutely there. you know, you can do all the things you want to do in your life. you probably just have to not do it all at complete once and thinking that you can do it all at a hundred percent. And, you know, I know Oprah, there's so many sayings. You know, that ev you hear all the motivational quotes, you can't have it all, you know, and all this sort of stuff. 

[00:24:36] Melissa: Yep.  

[00:24:37] Angela: But again, I'm gonna go back to that original question that we spoke about at the beginning, Mel was. If you are feeling frantic, if you are feeling distracted, if you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're feeling pulled, Then ask yourself, well, what is my focus right now? Where do I want or need my focus to be? 

Because I also get people say to me, well, just 'cause where I want my focus to be [00:25:00] maybe is not where it needs to be right now. And the fact that someone asked that question, they know the answer to it, right?  

[00:25:06] Melissa: Absolutely.  

[00:25:07] Angela: do say, I go, well, you know the answer to that. Could you just ask me? Then ask yourself, well where does it need to be right now? 

You know, and it may not be where you want it to be, but it might be where it actually has to be. And intuitively people know where that needs to be. it's just that we put all the noise on top of it to,  

[00:25:24] Melissa: Yeah,  

[00:25:25] Angela: because sometimes it's a bit tricky, right? Sometimes it's a bit tricky or we dunno the answers,  

[00:25:29] Melissa: sometimes we don't wanna know the answer because we don't like it. That's the other thing. And sometimes we just have to do the hard things. But one of the things that, that sort of makes me think about is that, in some situations we can kind of. Put the responsibility of that externally and go, or that's the responsibility of my employer or that's the responsibility of my family, or these things are happening to me. 

But there are many things that we can do as individuals to create that. Control in a way [00:26:00]around our own attention and our focus. And there are things that we can do to support ourselves. And one of the things that you've developed to help individuals in this way is the focus formula. I'd love you to sort of tell us a little bit more about what that is and how it actually works to help people regain that control and really optimize their energy. 

Because I think that's a really important factor, is our energy management in this entire process.   [00:27:00] [00:28:00] [00:29:00] 

[00:29:06] Angela: Yeah, you're right. And the focus formula is really simple and. want it to be simple for people so they remember. And there's three letters. it's aim, it's a i, m, and A is awareness. I as intention, and m is mastery. And look in its simplistic form, awareness is really the first step. So if you are feeling, you know that you're wanting to have greater focus. 

Then you need to become aware of where your energy suckers are, where are you actually focusing your attention. If you're not doing it where you want to, then you're looking somewhere else. So why are you looking there asking yourself? And I often, when I do my workshops, I'll, I have a lot of questions and it is in this awareness. 

Space where we ask more questions than tell more answers. and even if we look at it for our children, I do a lot of workshops in schools for parents with kids how to, how do we parent now in this age of distraction and in this [00:30:00] awareness space looking at, well, what actually do I want them to be doing with their time? 

If I don't want them on devices, then what do I want them to be doing and do they know that? And am I setting up systems in my family to help them support that? But if we look at it from a workplace point of view and us wonderful adults, the same thing goes, okay. If you are frantic and flustered and all overwhelmed and all the things feeling chaotic, then asking yourself, well, where are you spending your time? 

How are you spending your time? Where, where do you want to be more focused? But not only just that, actually having a little bit of time to sit with yourself in that quiet. Your intuition will kick in. And in my first book, which is called The Power of Conscious Choice that I wrote before Switch Off, and I explored how we make decisions and how do we make the best decisions that we possibly can. 

And in that I talk very much around balancing logic and intuition and how we make decisions is very much the relationship between the two. But what we do in a [00:31:00] world that's really distracted, particularly in this awareness space. Is we think about the logic too much. What do we have to do? How quick do we have to do it? 

How much time can we save? Whereas the intuitive part, is often what we don't listen to. So that awareness part is very much doing, as you said, a little bit of the hard work, Mel, you know, it is asking more questions than answers. Um,  

[00:31:23] Melissa: Just before we jump onto the next bit, I just wanna talk that intuitive piece because I think we have been trained, conditioned, exposed to be logical beings. 

[00:31:35] Angela: Yes. 

[00:31:36] Melissa: This is something that I've kind of been on my own journey with. The last sort of 18 months is I think for a long time I actually stopped listening to my intuition because it was something I potentially didn't trust. 

It was something that I felt that's not the way that we do business. Business is done by logic, and so I think it's really interesting and that this was one of your first books because I feel like we are coming [00:32:00] into. I'm gonna call it a reawakening of people reconnecting with their intuition. And in the coaching that I'm doing with so many business women and also in organizations with leaders as we are going through change, I don't see them applying their own intuition. 

It's like we've been conditioned and trained not to trust it, not to listen to it, not to act on it because it's not always logical, I don't know. Have you got any insights as to why that might be? What? What's your take on that?  

[00:32:27] Angela: Yeah, well you're right. Society very much trains us to do the logic. 'cause logic makes sense. Intuition has a very big basis around belief, I guess, is you, you know, you look at that, you have to almost trust in yourself and that's comes a little bit of fear. people, you know, we, we don't know what the outcome is. 

We don't know if we make a decision. And this is very much what the power of Conscious Choice was about, is we never know what the right decision to make is. We never know until we actually make it. So we don't know what the outcome of something's gonna be until we make the [00:33:00] decision. We can sit in logic as long as we like, and I know people hear it, it's analysis by paralysis. 

But in a way I get that like it's, it's a part of it, but we can sit in the thinking for so long. Ultimately we have to make a decision in order to know what to do next. And it's just, that's what happens. And our logic is easy. Our intuition on the other side makes us tap into things that sometimes we can't make sense of. 

And we, we often like. Things to make sense, that if something doesn't make sense, then therefore it must not be true. Look, I know I've made some really big decisions in my life around, in my intuition. However, when you are led by intuition only, sometimes it can be just as problematic as logic only, and the intuition, I, I see a lot of health professionals will go into business because they just feel that it's the right thing to do. 

Sometimes they haven't done the logical part. You know, they feel that it's right and you go, well, you're [00:34:00] not making any money. You know, like, you're not eating. So that's probably, but it's the dance between the two and it's not that one's more important than the other. We just have to have the relationship between the two work together. 

an intuition to Mel takes sitting in silence.  

[00:34:15] Melissa: Connecting back with yourself and listening to yourself, actually creating the space to hear what you're trying to tell yourself. Because if we're too busy listening to everything else and noisy, you're not listening.  

[00:34:26] Angela: no. So it all, it does, it all comes back to noise. It all comes back to what are we filling our lives with, and so that's like the first step of the focus formula, right? We haven't even got into the other stuff, but, the awareness part is always number one. I always say to people, if you only do that, then the next part of it. 

Won't sort itself out, but it'll become clearer. But if you try to jump into the I or the m so into intention and mastery, then you're just adding more strategies. You're just adding green juices onto a, you know, the new healthy eating plan, uh, without, you know, thinking about it. So the [00:35:00] I is intention, and we've sort of touched on this a little bit, Mel, and intention is very much about being very intentional on how you're using your time. 

So it is, again, it's like sitting with, when you're sitting with somebody talking. That's what you're doing. Like you are sitting with them talking. You are in that moment. Now if you have cut off on that conversation and you're no longer listening, well you either have to cut that conversation off or you have strategies to help you your attention back to that moment. 

and this is where a lot of the deep work philosophies have also come through with Johan Hari was and Cal Newport, sorry, was very much. Right now, this is the project I'm working on and I see a lot of times people will do their dopamine quick win hits in the morning. 

So they'll go through and they'll, tick off their five easiest things on their to-do list. 'cause it gives them the boost and they go, great, I'm being productive. But by the time they do that, their brain's tired. So by the time they get to there. Deep work or project work or important work [00:36:00] that actually needs their energy and their attention, they're exhausted. 

So what do they do? They put it off to the next day, they do the dopamine hits again, and it just becomes this cycle of, I can never get anything done. You know? I need more time. I need this, I need that. When actually, and again, I sort of mentioned this at the beginning, that we do set ourselves up for failure, and that's one of them, that doing those dopamine quick wins is not intentional use of time. 

Sure, you can go right now, I'm doing five dopamine quick, but that's not what I'm talking about. It's just go, well, what is my time needing to be spent on right now? So where am I focusing right now? Get that done. And if your brain doesn't have the capacity to focus any longer than 20 minutes set, 20 minutes done. 

You know, I tried Pomodoro techniques. I've tried every time management technique. The one that works is the one that you'll use. And so if all these different time management techniques, if you've tried a gazillion of them and you're still looking, you haven't found either the one that [00:37:00] works for you or what you're doing is you are wasting your time. 

On when you should actually be focusing on something else.  

[00:37:06] Melissa: yeah. 

and I actually like what you said there because this is a, the thing that I think is really important as well, it's not about time management, it's about energy management. We all have the same amount of time as how we spend it. And like you just said, if we aren't doing. The important work first, when we've got a really fresh brain, we've got lots of energy. 

We are not gonna be giving it our best attention. It's not gonna get the best outcome from us. And as you said, if we're not putting that effort into it early, it's probably gonna get kicked down the road and ignored because we are too tired to worry about it, or we just can't focus enough. Again, focusing on actually being able to deliver that piece of work.  

[00:37:44] Angela: Hmm. Yeah. And I see a lot of people in their afternoon block, so you know from, they've had lunch, they come in, they do a couple of fluffing around sort of tasks, and then they hit a certain point and we hear a three o'clock slump. And yes, that, that's an energetic slump, but [00:38:00]it's also yes, to do with diet, to do with sleep. 

But there's all, it's also to do with how much our brain has hit its capacity. So if you've been concentrating all day in meetings, if you've been facilitating, you know, uh, workshops, if you've been having difficult conversations with clients, if you've been in counseling sessions, that's a lot of work. 

We've put our brain under a lot of pressure between the beginning of the day and the end of the day, and whatever your day looks like, if it's, you know, overnight. But we get to a point where we hit our threshold and our brain gets tired. And then, you know, you've heard of decision fatigue that when now our brain is needing to make so many different decisions, our brain gets tired just like our bodies do. 

But unfortunately, what we do too often, Mel, is um, our brain gets tired. We pick up the phone and we just go into like a doom scroll and we just switch off. And what's really interesting, yes it does. You know, it switches us off, but our brains dunno [00:39:00] that, it switches us off because we're sitting down doing nothing, but our brains are still alert. 

So we're actually adding. To the overwhelm by doing an activity that we think is calm us, if that makes any sense. So, so that's the intention, being really intentional about how you use your time, what am I doing? Is this the right time I should be doing this? And then the last one's mastery. So mastery is very much around putting those habits in place that serve you well. 

And I've already made that sort of mention that the strategy that you use is the, uh, the strategy that'll work is the one that you'll use. And a lot of people go, right, so tell me the top five things to do. I'm like, well, you're not gonna do five.  

[00:39:40] Melissa: Yeah.  

[00:39:41] Angela: let's just choose one. Let's just nail that and choose that. 

because focus is a skill, right? So being able to concentrate for a certain period of time, being able to move from one, um, you know, being able to transition from one task to another. That's all skill. And so we know with skill they can be learned. So [00:40:00] mastery is about just like we do with our health every day, right? 

What's my focus today? Right? And let's just go through those systems and those practices and you'll get better at it. And so that's the focus formula. Really simple. A I am, it's aim, it's awareness, intention, and mastery. 

[00:40:17] Melissa: Fantastic. And. When people are looking to start in this process, you've just given us one tip there. It's like, figure out what my focus is for the day. Like that's my first thing. So if I'm gonna take anything out of this podcast episode today, it's all right. When I sit down at my desk or whatever my day looks like, when I start my day, I've gotta figure out what my main focus is for The day. 

Just that one thing. What's the next thing I could do? 

[00:40:43] Angela: The awareness part because you'll either do everything you can not to do that. 

[00:40:47] Melissa: Yes.  

[00:40:50] Angela: This is, it really is. Um. I'll give you an example of what that one is, is that I would realize when, on my content days, so I would, I would batch [00:41:00] time and I'd batch content and I'd do all my writing. but there was something about that. Every single time I did it, I tried everything else except that I had it in my calendar. 

It was beautifully color coded in my calendar too, and it was beautifully named, you know, content Monday and I had, I did all the right things right, but when it came to sitting down at the computer and just writing, there was a block, I had to then go and get a cup of tea and, oh, that's right. I remembered I had to do this and I had to go and talk to that. 

And you know, all these things. So being aware of your behavior. So if you say, what is my focus right now? But you don't follow through on that. That's the awareness part, and it's either not your focus or you need help. Or you want some accountability or there's just something else that's at play for you. 

All right? So that's the next thing. But if it is, if the awareness part, let's just say you're focused, you're ticking along, this is awesome. what I would look at is go, well, what made that work? I'll use it actually. An [00:42:00] example of a lady in a workshop that I just did, she had a big grant to do. 

Okay, big grant and she, we were talking about the focus formula and she said, oh my gosh, I just realized that would probably take me like an hour to do. And she said, all I've been doing is asking everyone for their input. And she said, I've been asking everyone what do you think about this? Do you wanna consult this? 

Do you wanna review this? She goes, I have so much information. And she said, I don't need any more information. You know what I need to do, Angela? I just need to get it done. And I was like, it was just this beautiful like awakening where you go. she knew what her focus was. She had to write that grant. 

It had to get done. She became aware of her behavior. The reason it wasn't getting done is because she was too busy moving around and you know, doing other things. When she said, really, all that needs is an hour of my time. So the next thing she did was locked in that hour of time into her calendar. And you know what? 

It's up to her. she can of course move that in her calendar. She [00:43:00] can still go and talk to somebody. But if it's something that's really important for you, that needs to be done, you'll get it done. So it's an example for people if you have something that you are putting off, there's a few reasons why, but what I would do is when you really clearly can see what your focus is today, this week, this year, like hear a lot of people say, this is the year of health. 

[00:43:22] Melissa: Mm.  

[00:43:22] Angela: the filter of every decision that is made, and this is where those words of the year as well come in, they become the filter of focus. So that everything for people who use it really well, those words of the year and not just something, you know, touchy feely and you know, something cool to do as a New Year's resolution, so my word for this year's finish, has a lot of meaning for me. I've written down what that means for me, and some people might go, that's a weird word. It's not very aspirational, but it means a lot of different things. I have it as my screensaver on my phone, it's on my computer screen. 

It's everywhere that I look and whenever I make a decision, I [00:44:00] think is it through the lens of finish and what that meant for me. And so you can see by when people can decide on what their focus is, and it might be focus for this hour. Focus for this day, focus for this week, focus for this year, focus for this season. 

So it's not time, dependent, right? Once you decide on what your focus actually is, then all your decisions are made through that lens. 

[00:44:26] Melissa: Mm. That's a really good point. And I think that's really interesting because I think sometimes we're not entirely sure. Where we wanna be putting that focus or what the lens in that filter looks like because we haven't got the clarity. And this is why, you know, as business leaders we have annual goal setting and we have quarterly plans and we have all these other things that help us set those priorities. 

But I think as individuals, we probably don't apply that same level of rigor or structure to supporting ourselves with that individual work task. So even I think breaking down. If you've got some competing [00:45:00] project, objectives at work, and you've gotta think about what needs to happen, it's a matter of sitting down and going, well, what are the priorities? 

Are there any sort of, you know, cascading effects? What's the first thing that needs to get done? Or, you know, what do I need to do in order to not create a bottleneck for somebody else? It's really again, coming back and being very intentional about the contribution that you are making to that, to that project, and then creating a plan around it.  

[00:45:24] Angela: Absolutely, and I see it so many times when I'm asked to come in and help develop a, you know, or facilitate a strategic planning day, right? That the big, long-term goals are made. But when the leaders go to communicate that to their team, all people wanna know about is, well, what do I need to do? It is great to have those big plans and those big visions. but if people can't relate to, well, well, how do I apply that to my day to day, then it's not gonna work. And it never does. And that's, that's, I see it all the time that, the [00:46:00] vision has to be related to people of how they use their time because, and we hear it, time is such a precious thing. 

Time is a precious thing, but so is our attention. And that's why I think we're in this, age now, where people are going, ah, it feels like I'm getting pulled everywhere. My brain does not know where to focus. So how do I do this? You know, how do I do it? People are realizing that it's not just time, it's how we use our time. 

That is actually the real gold because you mentioned it before, we all have the same amount of time, but if people can become skilled and really aware. And I think that's, that's a really important word. If people can become aware of their behaviors, of how they use their time, then it life just becomes so much easier. 

I. if you find yourself, you know, going through things like just be aware. It's like having Ang sitting on your shoulder. I don't care if it's me, if it's, you know, call it some other person, but just have somebody sitting on your shoulder going, Hey, guess what you're doing that thing again.  

[00:46:58] Melissa: Yeah.  

[00:46:59] Angela: You know, and it's [00:47:00] not a, not a criticism that's, you don't want that person that's gonna sit there and go, ah, you're such a this and you're such a, that you did this yesterday. 

Just have somebody sitting there on your shoulder, a really, you know, calm, friendly voice that's going, Hey. You said that you wanted this to be your focus. What do we need to do to make that happen? And so I don't want people to beat themselves up because I get to the end of the day sometimes and I'm like, oh my God, where did that day go? 

Or I go, was that actually a productive day? And I might have only got one really big project done. But that was my biggie. That was my big thing that I needed for the day. So don't measure your days by all the many tasks on your list you've ticked off. If you could measure your day, has it been successful because you've been able to maintain the focus on the things that matter to you? 

Man, that's a whole different day. 

[00:47:48] Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. And you shared so much gold with us today. What is the best way for people to get in touch with you, and what can you do to support them with these sorts of big conversations [00:48:00] within their organizations? 

[00:48:01] Angela: Yeah, thanks Mel. Uh, well the website, angela lockwood.com au. As you know, Mel, I'm not great on social media. I, uh. I have a love-hate relationship with social media. Uh, I think we are now just, we just banter off each other now I think me and social media. But LinkedIn is definitely my preferred platform, because I love having conversations with leaders around this. 

And one of the, one of the approaches I have through my work is, I wanna do one to many. And what I mean by that is if I can speak to people who really can make an influential impact. On many people then they're the people I want to talk to because, when you look at time, I could go and speak to one person at a time, but if I can speak to one person who can speak to a hundred people, who can speak to 200, then that makes you know things so much easier. 

But it also makes real change happen and I think. People you mentioned change earlier. That change always happens and I think what we've gotta do is be open [00:49:00] to change, but not being scared by change. Feeling like we have to run to keep up. If we can just be in our flow, if we can be really aware of what our part of all of that is. 

Then the change will just keep happening. But we'll have that sort of sense of control. So, they're the people I love to talk to Mel on LinkedIn, so please connect with me. And if you did hear me on here with Mel, can you just let me know? cause yeah, it'd be good to hear that you, um, listened to the conversation. 

But, one thing I would love for people who are listening to this, Mel, if you are in a state right now where you are feeling very chaotic, I just want you to take. Heart in knowing that you do have the ability to make the decisions that you need. and don't try to sit with your notepad and write down all the things you've gotta do, you know, to, to do this. 

What I would love for you to do is either tonight before you go to bed, or on the weekend when you've got a little bit of time when you're driving, maybe listening [00:50:00] to this, just take a big deep breath and just think and listen to what comes up.  

[00:50:07] Melissa: Yeah,  

[00:50:08] Angela: Because it's that little thing. Everyone knows what they need. 

We just need to quieten the noise.  

Pay attention. 

[00:50:15] Melissa: it.  

[00:50:15] Angela: I love having these conversations, Mel, because I think in workplaces we are so logical, right? 

We are so. Product productive. Like there's metrics to  

[00:50:23] Melissa: Yeah,  

there's systems, there's processes, there's structure, like everything has a box for it.  

[00:50:29] Angela: but if we are dragging ourselves through the day, if we are turning up and we are just going, God, I've gotta do this again. All of that stuff doesn't actually matter. What we need to do is come in and go, well, how can I be the best version of me today? and but also, how can I Protect my energy. 

And I think that that's a really big thing. I know we could probably talk for hours about the energetic stuff, but, your energy is a, is not a resource that just continues. Um, we need to take care of it and we need to top it up. And, if your [00:51:00] brain's tired, give it a rest. that's the big thing. 

If your brain's tired, give it a rest. 'cause the more you push it, the less it's gonna give you. 

[00:51:07] Melissa: Yeah, and your energy has an impact on those around you as well, 

[00:51:11] Angela: Yeah, absolutely. And it does, and people pick up on that, right? People pick up. but yeah, thanks so much, Mel, for the work you do. I could talk to you forever. 

[00:51:20] Melissa: As I could too. Ange, thank you so much for joining us and I'll pop all of those links in the show notes for you so that people can get in touch. But I've really appreciated you coming on and sharing all your wise wisdom with my listeners and uh, I would love if any of them are listening and would love to reach out to you, please do so. 

As Ange said, jump on and connect with her on LinkedIn.  

[00:51:38] Angela: Yeah. 

[00:51:39] Melissa: much, Ange.  

[00:51:40] Angela: All right. Thanks Mel.